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A Capital Idea

from CURLY'S AIRSHIPS by JUDGE SMITH

/

lyrics

CURLY:-
About that time,
Two new ships,
Which had been ordered for the war
Five years too late,
Were finally ready for their trials;
Though now of course they didn't have
The cash to fly either of them...
One was built by Vickers,
A smallish ship they called R.80.
I got to fly her but just for a month or so.
The government took one look
And made us fly her to the scrap yard.
They had good reason:
She showed up the other ship,
And this one was
Their very own masterpiece;
Built by the Royal Airship Factory
And designed by
A War Office committee...

CHAIRMAN:-
His Majesty's Government
Have asked us for an airship
That is better than
Anything the Germans have.
Now what, Gentlemen,
Should our requirements be?

JUNIOR COMMITTEEMAN:-
Well, I suppose it would be best
If it were faster.

SENIOR COMMITTEEMAN:-
Yes jolly good, and why not tell them
That we want it to fly higher as well?...

CHAIRMAN:-
A capital idea!
And while they're at it they can also
Make it fly further
And make it carry more
Guns and bombs and so forth.

The Admiralty Naval Architects
Can build it.
Well, they design our submarines,
Don't they;
Mean to say,
Must be much the same idea.
They're both dangerous
And expensive
And shaped like a sausage...

CURLY:-
The Corps of Naval Constructors
Did what they were told;
Of course they did.
But to do it they had to build
The biggest airship in the world.
To try and save weight,
They made the whole framework
Insanely light and flimsy,
Then festooned this freakish nightmare
With more and more engines
Until it was dangerously overpowered.

The Air Ministry
Were strapped for cash and arranged
To sell the new ship
To the American Navy.
We didn't know what a horror they'd built;
We were sore that the Yankees
Were going to get our new toy.

credits

from CURLY'S AIRSHIPS, released April 10, 2020
Vocal Credits:-
CURLY - JUDGE
THE CHAIRMAN - ARTHUR BROWN
THE JUNIOR COMMITTEEMAN - NICK LUCAS
THE SENIOR COMMITTEEMAN - DAVID SHAW-PARKER

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JUDGE SMITH Glastonbury, UK

Judge Smith co-founded the band Van der Graaf Generator in 1967 with Peter Hammill, & has since been involved in many music projects as writer, composer or performer. He has written stage musicals, classical & rock libretti, songs for television & a book on Life after Death; directed a prize-winning short film, & released fourteen CDs & two DVDs. He was born in 1948 & lives near Glastonbury, UK. ... more

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