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The Selfish Shellfish

from ZOOT SUIT by JUDGE SMITH

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lyrics

THE SELFISH SHELLFISH

I chose to lead the quieter sort of artist’s life,
No kids, no wife,
They weren’t part of my plan.
And sometimes I have conversations with the dead,
I’m off my head,
A quite peculiar man.

And if you say I should proceed a good deal more like other chaps,
I’d say, ‘Perhaps,
But that’s the way I am’.
And if you say this clearly shows a certain lack of moral health,
I’d say, ‘Go f *ck yourself!
I’m happy as a clam.’

I may be a selfish shellfish,
Just a crusty old crustacean
With ideas above his station.
Yes I may be a selfish shellfish,
But here within my cloister,
The whole cosmos is my oyster,

And as the fish swim past, I hear one cry,
‘That’s the prawn that makes those records
That no one wants to buy’.

I seem to have a certain knack for melodies
With harmonies
That linger in the mind.
But a critic pointed out that all my songs appeared
To be quite weird,
And he was being kind.

And if you say I should have used this gift to make a bob or two,
I’d say, ‘That’s true.
I’ve probably been a fool’
And if you say my work has failed and thus my life has been misspent,
I’d say, ‘Get bent!’
I’m stubborn as a moule.

I may be a selfish shellfish,
A sort of crabby hermit
Who makes art without a permit.
Yes, I may be a selfish shellfish,
But let the flashy abalones
Win applause by being phoneys,
I will stay under my rock and do my art.
To be such a lucky winkle, warms the cockles of my heart.

I may be a selfish shellfish,
Like a scallop or an ormer,
But perhaps more like the former.
Yes, I may be a selfish shellfish,
Of the order Gastropoda,
With a charming, fishy odour.
Yes, I may be a selfish shellfish,
But you can have too much of me,
I can bring on an allergy.
And so I’ll really have to try
To say ‘Goodbye, good bivalve, goodbye.’

credits

from ZOOT SUIT, released May 28, 2020

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JUDGE SMITH Glastonbury, UK

Judge Smith co-founded the band Van der Graaf Generator in 1967 with Peter Hammill, & has since been involved in many music projects as writer, composer or performer. He has written stage musicals, classical & rock libretti, songs for television & a book on Life after Death; directed a prize-winning short film, & released fourteen CDs & two DVDs. He was born in 1948 & lives near Glastonbury, UK. ... more

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